Do Dig Up, Not Ask

When you need to consult, that means you need to dig up more information you are no longer able to find. But if you only ask without having any knowledge of what you want to consult, that means you have the mentality of spoon-feeding.

Well, I lately deal with few of the latter kind of people that I need to share it here so you, any readers, understand the manner of consulting.

Some of my juniors recently contacted me to consult about the thesis they are about to make. They are interested to take the analysis I was dealing with in my thesis, Critical Discourse Analysis (CDA). For your information, I was one among some students in my batch who initiated taking up a topic using this analysis. No body in the department has ever officially use the analysis in their thesis, nor the subject is specifically being taught in the class. Therefore, it takes a more "challenging" effort in order to comprehend the subject. As someone who has "successfully" using the analysis, no wonder I am considered as a potential source to help them to get to know better about CDA.

When they contacted me, telling me that they were eager to know about CDA more from me, I felt above the sky; I was more than excited. As an alumni, I am glad to help my juniors. But when they started the consultation, I turned disheartened, and even disrespect. In fact, all of them started with a typical statement: "Teteh, I have no idea what CDA is" or "Teteh, I am totally blank about CDA, so please explain me." And when I asked "What sources have you read concerning CDA?", and they would answer "nothing" of "I am having difficulties finding it, that's why I'd like to borrow it from you." It's good to take an initiative to ask, but frankly speaking, asking without knowing anything about the issue, it's a stupidity. In fact, it's no different with having the mentality of spoon-feeding.

Consulting is not only asking; it's digging up more information you cannot find by yourself. Therefore, before consulting, put your best effort to get to know the issue yourself first. Thanks to the internet and google that it's way easier to find out information today. It's so easy that all you have to do is entering google and type anything you need to know, and it will provide you everything you need it can find only in a second. If you suddenly come to me or anyone you considered as a potential source and claim you have no idea about what CDA is, you're not consulting at all; you're being spoiled kids who wants everything ready instantly. No offense guys, but it's true.

Just to share my personal experience with my thesis last year, I couldn't consult with any senior, since none of them deal with the analysis (there was one person actually, but what she did couldn't yet be considered as CDA). I struggled on my own by searching the related papers, publications, and internet postings myself. and read countless journal articles, some of them are more than twice, and when I couldn't help it anymore myself, then I came to my supervisor to consult. I've got only 1-hour consultation per meeting in average, but I did the whole process of readings for more than six months until I got the click. And even I cannot say I have 100% understood the whole principles of CDA, I mostly did it myself.

What I am trying to say from my experience is that, even it's easy to find the source, it's a long way for you to eventually get the click with the subject, and if you come to me with zero understanding about it, how can I explain the long readings I experience for months in just a few hours? You need to study by yourself after all. You can't leave it up to me, or to anyone, to explain the whole things to you.

If any of my junior read this, forgive my words in this posting. I did not mean to offend you. Honestly, I am so happy if I can give a contribution to your thesis. I am so glad if I can inspire juniors to create a better thesis than I did. But I just want you to understand that you need to find out the knowledge you need yourself first, then ask me what you don't understand so I can explain you. You can't consult with a blank knowledge. You need to be proactive, and that does not only mean you have the initiative to ask, but also to find out the information with your own efforts before asking. Do dig up, not ask

Lessons During My Idleness

Yap, sudah 2 bulan lebih ini saya tidak memiliki status profesional. Setelah sekitar 16 tahun menempuh hidup sebagai "pelajar" (12 tahun siswa, 4 tahun mahasiswa) dan menerima passive income dari orang tua (sebagai manusia tak berprofesi pun masih), saatnya WAJIB hukumnya bagi saya untuk mulai berjuang sendiri menjalani dan memaknai hidup ini. Sambil menunggu untuk mendapatkan kesempatan tersebut, karena tidak banyak kegiatan yang saya lakukan, saya memakan porsi waktu yang cukup banyak untuk merenung. Selain untuk menyemangati diri sendiri yang lagi idle alias gak ada kerjaan ini, merenung juga menjadi bagian dari paket mengasah diri supaya (semoga) bisa lebih tajam dalam proses menjalankan rencana hidup.

Selama masa perenungan ini yang (terlalu) lama ini, ada beberapa pelajaran penting yang saya dapat baik dari hasil membaca, berdiskusi, yang dikombinasikan dengan pemikiran sendiri (lebaaayyyy). And here I would like to share some, at least the ones I can describe in a writing.

1. Ambisi bukan mengumbar hawa nafsu
Saya sering mendengar orang menyalahkan ambisi sebagai biang dari perilaku yang kebablasan, seperti menghalalkan segala cara dalam mecapai keinginan. Padahal, katanya manusia itu dalam hidup harus memiliki ambisi untuk meraih pencapaian hidup. Jadi, ambisi itu baik atau buruk? Ambisi itu positif, yang negatif adalah mengumbar hawa nafsu. Ambisi dilakukan untuk tujuan yang baik, karena ambisi menjadi tolak ukur bagaimana pencapaian hidup. Hanya tolak ukur, jadi inti dari ambisi adalah bagaimana menjalani prosesnya di jalan yang baik sehingga apapun hasilnya, itulah yang terbaik untuk diri kita. Mau melakukan apa di dunia ini kalau gak punya ambisi? Berbeda dengan hawa nafsu, yang satu ini memang sih setiap manusia pasti punya. Toh ambisi juga bagian dari hawa nafsu. Tapi jika hawa nafsu selalu harus dipenuhi, fokusnya akan menjadi apa yang harus didapat, bukan bagaimana untuk mendapatkannya. Karena apa yang dilakukan tidak selalu sesuai dengan hasilnya, maka segala harus dilakukan untuk mendapatkan hasil, bahkan dengan cara buruk sekalipun.

Misalnya, saya memiliki ambisi untuk menjadi kaya. Artinya, saya ingin menjalan proses bagaimana menjadi kaya. Tentu saya ingin melakukan hal-hal yang baik untuk mencapainya, karena yang penting adalah apa yang saya lakukan, bukan apa hasilnya nanti. Apapun hasilnya, saya akan puas dan bahagia telah melakukan proses menjadi kaya. Tapi jika saya terbawa hawa nafsu menjadi kaya, maka kaya menjadi hal yang harus saya dapatkan, tidak peduli dengan cara apa. Maka bisa saja saya korupsi, menggaet lelaki mapan beristri, atau hutang kanan kiri. Ya, saya punya uang, saya kaya, tapi rasa puas itu hanya sesaat, karena proses mendapatkannya tidak terasa, padahal proses lebih panjang jalannya daripada hasil.

Jadi kalau boleh saya simpulkan, mengumbar hawa nafsu berada pada tataran apa yang harus didapat, sementara ambisi berada pada tataran bagaimana mendapatkan sesuatu.

2. If you think you're better than any other people, you've git a big problem with yourself
Saya percaya segala yang ada di dunia ini adalah wadah untuk belajar, termasuk makhluk-makhluk yang hidup di dalamnya. Artinya, kita bisa belajar dari apapun, siapapun, bahkan manusia yang pendidikan, pengalaman, dan kesempatannya tidak sebaik diri kita. Hal ini karena semua sudah diciptakan Tuhan dengan kelebihan dan kekurangannya masing-masing. Nah, jika kita berpikir bahwa kita sudah menjadi orang paling benar, secara tidak langsung kita sudah menutup diri untuk belajar lebih banyak di dunia ini, karena toh sudah paling benar. Tidak mau belajar akan membuat kita stagnan dari perkembangan diri. Apa gunanya hidup kalau tidak mengembangkan diri? Maka dari itu, seyogianya kita mau mendengarkan apa yang orang lain katakan, mau menerima kritik, dan tidak mencibir duluan sebelum orang tersebut mengeluarkan pernyataan. Siapa tau, kita dapat belajar dari situ. Dengan membuka diri untuk menghargai hal-hal tersebut, kita akan membuka kesempatan bagi diri kita untuk merenung, mengasah diri. Dan dari situlah kita akan belajar, dan lebih jauh lagi mengembangkan diri menjadi lebih baik. Jika kita sudah merasa paling hebat, kapan kita bisa merenung dan mengasah diri? Ingat, pengetahuan kita tentang dunia sangatlah kecil, dan kita bukalah yang terhebat.

3. It's not what you tell people about you, it's about what you do
Jujur saya paling sebel kalau melihat orang yang suka mengklaim dirinya. Ada yang mengkalim dirinya cantik, dirinya hebat, pintar, gaul, tajir, bla bla bla. Bagi saya itu menyedihkan. When you try so hard to tell people what you are, you are the opposite of what you tell. Orang cantik, hebat, pintar, gaul, tajir, tidak perlu mengatakan dirinya begitu. Jika mereka memang memiliki nilai dan sifat tersebut, nilai dan sifat tersebut akan terlihat dengan sendirinya dari apa yang mereka lakukan dalam kesehariannya. Pengakuan sosial tidak datang dari apa yang kita katakan tentang diri kita, tapi apa yang kita lakukan. Justru dengan terlalu sibuk mengklaim nilai dan sifat tersebut, kita sepertinya sudah putus asa mencari cara untuk mendapatkan pengakuan sosial. Kita rendah diri tidak mampu menunjukkan apa yang kita ingin orang lihat dari diri kita, sehingga sibuk mencap diri kita lewat perkataan. Padahal, biarlah orang lain menilai tanpa perlu kita arahkan lewat perkataan kita tentang diri kita. Justru itu membuat, khususnya, saya merasa mereka sebenarnya adalah sebaliknya dari apa yang mereka katakan. Well, pendapat saya ini terdenger terlalu menghakimi, tapi setidaknya itulah yang saya lihat, dan saya akan berusaha untuk tidak melakukan hal tersebut.

4. Agama memang tidak logis, tapi bisa dicari manfaatnya
Untuk hal ini, saya terkesan mencari pembenaran. Yang gak ada jadi diada-adain. Tapi saya pikir lebih baik begini, karena saya kan sudah memilih untuk memeluk agama, yaitu agama Islam. Jadi saya harus yakin bahwa walaupun banyak aturan di Islam yang tidak logis, tetapi ada manfaatnya. Dan setelah dicari, memang ada manfaatnya. Sebutlah ibadah, dalam Islam solat lima waktu. Beberapa teman saya yang memutuskan untuk tidak memeluk agama tapi percaya pada Tuhan mengatakan bahwa konversasi dengan Tuhan dan manusia itu privasi masing-masing, tidak perlu ritual yang terjadwal. Setiap orang memiliki caranya masing-masing untuk berkomunikasi dengan Tuhan, jadi buat apa ibadah? Well, kalau boleh saya bikin pembenarannya, di luar katanya Al -Quran kalau solat bisa mengahpus dosa kecil, saya melihat solat itu merelaksasikan. Tuhan begitu baik menyuruh kita untuk mengahadapnya 5 menit selama 5 kali sehari supaya kita sesaat melepaskan penat karena sibuknya hidup di dunia ini. Dengan solat kita diberi kesempatan untuk menyegarkan diri lewat wudhu, merelaksasi diri dengan kyusuk melepaskan diri dari urusan dunia untuk sekedar "ngobrol" bentar denganNya. Siapa tahu "obrolan" tersebut akan menjadikan kita merenung dan menemukan inspirasi baru dalam menjalani kesibukan hidup. Dengan begitu, kita akan dapat melakukan kegiatan di dunia ini dengan lebih baik lagi. Kan kita seyogianya mundur dari kegiatan dan mengasah diri kita supaya bisa lebih baik melakukan kegiatan tersebut. Tuhan sudah menyediakan waktunya untuk kita mengasah diri. See, solat dengan gerakan-gerakannya itu terlihat tidak masuk akal, tapi manfaatnya untuk kehidupan kita besar sekali kan?

Pendek kata, untuk memeluk agama, kita tidak perlu mencari logikanya, cukup pikirkan apa manfaatnya untuk mengisi kehidupan ini dan menjadikannya lebih baik. God is good, people....


Do I sound like Mario Teguh now? I hope not, hehehehe.. Saya sudah terlalu banyak merenung saking kurang kerjaannya, dan menulis ini hanyalah satu cara untuk melepaskan diri saya dari perenungan-perenungan yang isinya mulai tidak penting.



SAYA BUTUH KEGIATAN, dan itu selain merenung!

Let's talk about US, not THEM

So just a couple days ago I found two Facebook groups entitled something about hating one of our Negeri Jiran, Malaysia. All the members of the groups, they curse the nations, its government, and even its people, too. In one of the groups, I found some blog links about Malaysians disgracing Indonesia too, in a pretty harsh manner. Frankly speaking, I hate what our neigbour country did to us lately, and I hate what they write about Indonesia and Indonesians in those blogs. But being harsh back to them by cursing them in those kind of Facebook groups? I don't think it's a good idea for the citizens of a big nation like us do that.

Some said in the groups they did that for the sake of nationalism. Nationalism by cursing others? I don't even understand how they are related! Well, if you love our country, if you want to defend our country from such bad words from them, then say something good about our country, not by cursing others to lift your own pride up. Perhaps they said bad things about us because they just don't know what they have that they can be proud of (sorry Malaysians, some of you, the bloggers who insult us, really have no idea what you have, including your government who uses our traditional arts to promote your country), but we DO know exactly what we have as a big great nation! So, if a group of people of Malaysian have said lots of harsh things about us, there is another way, a more ellegant way to counter them: let's talk about good things about us and what we have.

Come on, we have millions of good stuff about Indonesia we can discuss. Arts, foods, tourism, views - we've got almost everything that they don't have! Therefore, I think instead of making some groups that spread more hatred to them, why don't make a group whch spread great things about Indonesia? Not only good for ourselve, but also for others. Discussing good stuff can make us more positive-thinking about Indonesia, and embrace nationalism. Moreover, outsiders reading it will also get to know more about what Indonesia have. After all, everyone will be happy :)

Having this idea of making a discussion about good things about Indonesia doesn't initiate me to get the idea come to a realization. In fact, I'm writing this not to lauch a Facebook group about "Indonesia Bagus" and whatsoever, but to critisize those who have made and joined the groups about hating Malaysia under the name of nationalism. Guys, it's not relevant at all. Yes, they have done bad things which have hurted and insulted us as a nation. But insulting them back will not solve any problem too. Instead, they will never get to know who we are, how strong we are as a nation, and prove that we are what they always think about us. Let's start talking about the great Indonesia, and let's ignore them ;p

Why Making Plans??

So I had this interesting conversation with my dad this afternoon just after I finished typing my thesis's chapter 4. He suddenly came into my room and lying on bed behind me.

It all started when my dad opened the conversation by asking my comment on a book I read some times ago, "Outliers." I simply told him some stories told in the book, and I concluded from those stories that success is a random stuff. Yes it's true that success comes from a hard work, diligence, practicing, not give up, and bla bla bla: those are said by motivators. But those things are all about chances: in fact not everyone has the chance to work hard, to practice. How many incredibly smart people are there in the world? I bet there are a LOT! But why is there only one Bill Gates, one Obama, one SBY? Simply saying, they also coincidently stand in the right place and the right time. Opportunity meeting luck is an access to success.

Some success people never expect or plan that they were going to be what they are now *except Obama who admit he wanted to be American president when he was in elementry school.* They were just great people who go with the flow. But those who were in the right moment, place, and time, they gain success. If such factors is unpredictable: it comes suddenly without us knowing it that the factors are there. From that argument, my dad and I come up with a question, if success factors are unpredictabe, do we need to make plan for success?

This becomes an interesting discussion between me and my dad. He said world is always changing, that no matter how we perfectly plan things, the result might go the other way. He questioned the importance of learning histories, because what happened in the past cannot reflect what might happen in the future as the world is changing all the time. As for me, I simply thing we need to learn from history, to know the pattern and prevent mistakes. Even though the world is changing, at least we've tried our best to overcome what might be incorrect. If it turns failing, it's okay, we've anticipated it anyway. It's still better than doing nothing.

That's about learning from history. Regarding making plans, we argue that life is a process. Indeed we never know what future might look like. Hence, we can only strive in our life, whatever the future might bring. As the future is random walk, just like the world, plans is not made to get a result in the future. Plans is a tool to live the process of life: it is how we should live everyday. So eventually, we both agree that we need plans in our life, not to seek for the future, but as a guide of what we should do in everyday life. :) :) :)

Just Wanna Share Some Love Quotes

Here I paste some nice love quotes just because how I'm missing someone right now :)



"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you."
--Roy Croft

"It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands."
--Jaka

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."
--John Keats

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
--Helen Keller

"... See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."
--Gretchen Kemp

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
--Mignon McLaughlin

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
--George Sand

"The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."
--William Shakespeare

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
--Alexander Smith

"Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile..."
--Unknown

"Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essense."
--Vincent van Gogh

"Harmony is pure love, for love is a concerto."
--Lope de Vega

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
--Sam Keen

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."
--Ivan Panin

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
--Lao Tzu

"Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it."
--Thomas Fuller

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
--Elizabeth Browning

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."
--Mark Twain

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."
--Bruce Lee

Simple Thing Transcends Complex Thing

When I first time listened to one of Kuburan's singles "Lupa-Lupa Ingat," I was tickled. It's way too simple, both notation and lyrics, easy listening, yet easy to remember. Apparently such simple-easy song is getting popular here. Critics say such kind of music is a loser, but I think it's brilliant!!

If they think it's a setback for Indonesian music that the musicians prefer making such a simple music, now the question is: can you come up with the idea to make such a simple music? Well, sometimes brilliant is define for those who are able to look impressive with their complex-sophisticated thought. It's something above-the-sky that it takes deep contemplation to comprehend it. Yes, I agree it's something brilliant. But those who are able to think of something very simple, small, but down to earth in which everyone can reach it easily is way more brilliant!!

It's not that because they are not creative or incapable that they make simple music. They are being creative by simplifying things. And I am amazed by that, because simplifying is more complex than thinking of of something complex.

Well, sometimes in our lives, we love to think about complicated thing because we want to distinct us with others. We want to show off our "above average" capability by doing big yet ambitious thing. We try so hard to come up with a greatly big thing. But it's rarely crossed in our mind that we can actually make a simple thing to look even more impressive. Not is it because it looks WOW, but simply it's a fresh idea which is understandable. It touches the ground: it's what we and everybody need. Instead of being a loser, I think having a simple idea is a true winner, because not everybody can come up with it. Everybody can pretend to think of a complex thing, but no one can pretend to propose a simple idea.

That's why I conclude that simple thing is more special that the complex. So let's start to think from small thing to be a brilliant, even though it's somewhat harder... :)

Two Ears and One Mouth

An old saying suggests that having two ears and one mouth means that we need to listen twice more that talking. I never really understood the use of following what that saying says, but not until today I am closer to the gate of new chapter of my life.

Well, it's good to chat in various circumstances. Sharing experience, stories, gossip, plans, etc. But remember, when talking, the other will listen. What's the use of speaking if no one's listening? However, talking is somewhat much more fun than doing the activity of listening, and we tend to do the more fun one. And sometimes we just can't stop talking - sharing our own stories - it's all about me!

I love it when people surround me share lots of stories to me: personal experience, knowledge, plans, and even stories about others. But sometimes they can't stop, that some unnecessary stories are exposed too. I don't know whether it's because they're just sooo generous to share everything with other, or they're just too excited, or they just want to show off everything they know and have, but somehow, the more they talk and share about themselves, the more I can see weaknesses on them.

It's always good to share, but sometimes we just don't have to show everything in us through the voice coming from our mouth. Sometimes we just need to hit the brake and listen to others talking. When we talk about ourselves, we can actually inspire others. But when we talk about ourselves beyond our actual capacity of what we should tell others, we let others see our weaknesses and incapability. We gain nothing by talking too much but threatening ourselves.

Meanwhile, by listening to others talking, we help people to express themselves from their talk. And moreover, we gain lots of new ideas which might be useful for our life.

I am not saying that it's not good to talk and it's better to always listen without talking. Interaction us about listening and speaking; we should take both role. Sharing about ourselves is good to teach or inspire others, but I think we should talk in the right proportion. There are things that we should keep for ourselves and show them to others through action, not just talking. And by that time, we should change our role to listen more to learn from others more too. We simply need to learn more before teach and inspire others, don't we? That's why we have two ears and one mouth: we need to listen more than to talk.